Why am I doing this?
I do this because I want to get a better perspective of my life and why I keep messing things up. Not that I'm a screw up, I just have a habit of not doing the things I want and going about life like it will sort itself out and be presented to me on a silver platter.
I have spent the last few hours online looking up schedules and calenders, how to organize your life, keep your house clean, and be more efficient at living basically. I've learned several things: my life is hectic, I don't have a "normal" schedule, and I spend more time researching how to make my life better than I do actually making my life better (hence the pile of dirty dishes in the sink). I would like to say that this is an eye opener for me, but the truth is I've been here before and I'm doing it again because I've obviously not changed a damn thing.
I have piles of papers that need to be sorted and put away, my house and car are almost always cluttered if not down right smelly, my school life is lacking due to my lack of attention to it, my dog is getting fat because I don't walk her, and I haven't talked to much of my family in entirely too long. You may not think these things are terrible in and of themselves, however put all together and I feel a little overwhelmed at the hole I've dug myself into. I feel like I'm in the negative...yes, the negative that everyday I want to get out of.
I desperately need a Black Friday for my life.
So starting today I am going to take it one day at a time. I have lists of what I want done and I'm going to spend the next day figuring out how to do it. Tomorrow, a Sunday none the less, will be the start of my transformation from being a passenger on this thing called "my life" to being the one running the show.
