I dreamt of Shaun for the first time in a long time today. I was so sad and crying and he was just trying to fix it, like always he just wanted me to be happy again. I told him why he couldn't fix it this time and he said he was so sorry and then was heartbroken for me. That guy loved me a whole helluva lot and I guess my head was trying to remind me that if he could he would try and fix everything, he would be devastated for making me so sad. The head and the heart are the two most disagreeable organs sometimes. Love is such a strange thing. Shaun has been gone for three months and yet I love him more and more each day. I'm beginning to believe that he really is always with me because how else could I keep falling in love with him. My heart is broken because of my loving him and yet it's there still because I loved him and was loved by him. What a strange life I'm leading now. I miss him like crazy and I'm pretty sure he misses me too. Such a strange life.
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