I'll be going along and suddenly get a wild hair and start doing things that make me sad. Looking at pictures, reading old texts, thinking about what could have been. I can't help it. It hurts and yet I do it over and over. I torture myself. Sometimes I can get myself to stop and other times I just let myself cry and be sad. Sometimes I honestly like the hurt. It reminds me that I'm not crazy and that I really did lose everything. It helps to let myself be sad. Not all the time but every once in a while.
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