What Makes A Bad Day

1. Not getting enough sleep. I don't like going to bed anymore, going to bed means waking up and I just can't seem to shake this nightmare I'm in. Sleep also potentially means I will dream of my husband which at the moment is pure, subconscious, torture. In this same line not sleeping in my actual bed makes for badness.
2. Hangovers. Drinking can be good. In moderation. If I drink too much I get the dreaded hangover. Now a hangover is bad enough as it is. You feel like crap all-over and you just want to crawl in a hole and die generally (if it's a good one). A hangover on top of the death of my husband multiplies those awesome crawl in a hole feelings by about a billion. Trust me on this, unless you plan on staying drunk (no judging), don't do it.
3. Not eating. Eating is an issue for me. I don't stress eat, I stress starve. My husband would literally force feed me fries when I had a test or something at school because I just wouldn't get hungry. The problem with not eating is that your blood sugar drops which makes you feel like crap and since I'm already feeling crappy adding one more crappy thing on top is a bad combo. Much like a hangover except I didn't get the fun drunk part.
4. Staying in the house. If I stay in the house for too long or don't get out and about I generally start to "wallow". Wallowing is not really an okay thing to do. I let myself feel sad or upset but wallowing just makes me feel worse and it's very hard to come back from wallowing.
5. Being alone. There are two parts to this so bear with me. If I am alone too much I do that silly "thinking" thing. That thinking thing leads inevitably to the sad thing and the sad thing when you are by yourself sucks.
6. Being around too many people. Part two of the 'alone' factor is that being with too many people for too long can be brutal. I have a really hard time staying in conversations. My mind won't focus and I tend to zone out. A lot. Apparently this is normal and most of my friends and family have been taking it in stride. Talking about things you don't really care if I know is best because I probably won't remember the majority of the conversation. Being a part of a conversation literally exhausts me. I have to try so very hard to pay attention and focus. 
7. Misc. other things. Some days I can do everything right. I'll get enough sleep, I'll eat, I won't drink, I keep myself occupied and all the other things that make my life a little easier and you know what? It won't matter. I have bad days even when I do everything right. They knock me out and make me horribly sad and I can't do anything about it. Something as simple as seeing a restaurant that my husband and I used to go to can set me off.

These are things that I have found make bad days. Sometimes it won't matter, I'll have a horrible day, but most of the time if I do all the right things I can have "okay" days where I don't want to curl up in a ball and cry. I've found that bad days don't last forever which is the only thing that keeps me sane on those days. I just have to push through.